I Did It All By Myself
hidden dangers when operating from Pride Mode
In the mid 1800’s, Dr. Sylvester Graham promoted a new kind of flour – whole grain and exceptionally nutritious. Shortly after that, one Dr. James Jackson used this Graham flour to create the first breakfast cereal by baking it into dense nuggets. But the product, called granula, was so hard, it could chip your teeth if wasn’t soaked over-night before eating!
Enter Dr. John Kellog, who, in 1876, conceived the modern day granola and went on to become the cereal tycoon we know of today.
When reading history, it’s easy to see how we build upon the ideas of others and how one discovery could not have been possible without what came before. This is true of any success story, from entrepreneurs to athletes, yet the temptation to operate under a false sense of pride often prevails, particularly after one achieves financial success.
Backed by power and status, one’s self-image begins to rise,
right along with the certainty that money always leads to happiness.
Different from the previous two modes, Pride Mode often comes with success in one’s chosen career field. Most people feel so good at first, they ignore any signs that tell them otherwise. When those feelings of unfulfillment begin to catch up, guilt, anger, and resentment often multiply.
“I am more successful than most people in the world, and still I’m not happy??!!
What’s wrong with me??!!”
Even in this higher mode, happiness still depends on things going my way. The hidden danger here is that success often buys you a false sense of entitlement.
Because you are more deserving, you can rationalize breaking rules that you believe others should still follow. This is how CEO’s find themselves stealing from their employee pension plans or manipulating profit and loss reports.
This is also why it is written, Pride goes before a fall.
How can you prevent this from happening to you? Pay close attention to the way you treat and view other people. When operating from Pride Mode, the world becomes your personal chessboard. People and relationships are viewed as pawns, as a means to an end, as transactions.
It’s my way or the highway – It’s just business – I’ll do whatever it takes
When thoughts like these become your way of handling the people in your life, take a big step back. This is your wake-up call. You have great intelligence, but your energy is being misdirected, used to control, demand, manipulate and exploit. There is a better way.
Instead of I win & you lose, look for the win/win.
In the bestseller classic, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey describes this paradigm as the Third Alternative. He writes: “It’s not your way or my way; it’s a better way, a higher way.”
One person’s success does not have to come at the expense of others.
Respected professionals at the top of their field know the secret to building a RichLife: always operate with the client’s best interest in mind. Why? Because clients who are treated well come back. Clients who get exactly what they need tell others. And when working this way, you will build more than just financial wealth. You will gain friends and allies.
We have a new equation here, one that takes the pressure off
you always having to “win the game.”
Successful people understand that it’s the person, not the money, who is the asset. When was the last time you were treated like a transaction? What was your wake-up call? I’d love to hear it!
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I love how you said, "One person’s success does not have to come at the expense of others."
Thank you! I really feel that we need more encouragement in business! I just started to listen to "7 Habits of Highly Effective People." Have you read Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People"? Incredible book! 🙂
From your description, I would say that some of that "pride before the fall" goes on big time in Washington, D.C. Interesting post. Thanks!
Great post, Beau! I've been reading S Covey's book right now as well. I like the win-win situation. You're absolutely right when you say clients treated well will come back! The same is true in almost any relationship! Thanks for your thoughts!
I just have been watching a teaching from Dr.Don Colbert and he said that things only produce 10% happiness. Personality makes up about 50% and 40% comes from how we think, our actions and reactions.I thought that was very interesting. I think when we chase things, it feeds our pride. So, we actually get trapped by chasing our own pride; what a foolish thing to do. But we all have the t-shirt isn't it?
Win-Win situation can only create true wealth, all other options will turn to dust! 🙂
Thanks for sharing!
The hardest part, Beau, is that the shift is so insidious. Without someone or something constantly reminding the person on the ascent, even some seemingly well-grounded people let their success go to their head. I see it every day in this internet medium we're all part of. And it's such a shame, because eventually it leads to the fall of some great talent and prized contributors.
We see people who somehow get access to lots of money lose or waste it all, very quickly going back to where they started, where they were comfortable. I wonder how much of that phenomenon is at play in your scenario as well …
As always Beau, a great article with a powerful message. Thanks for sharing!
I like it! Great perspective;0)
Hi Beau, this should be required reading for anyone entering the business world. If it was, it would be a much nicer place to be 🙂 Thanks for posting!
Fantastic post! Win win is the only way. I've been on the losing side many times with a front row seat to anothers 'success". Well writen..loved reading it! Thank you!
This post goes right along with my own thoughts on the matter this week. I particularly appreciate your clear declaration that it's the person, not the money, who is an asset. This is difficult to remember (or impossible) when a person has a problem with lack or a poverty mindset. In fact, in many supposed 'service' agencies or organizations that are created to assist the poor or disabled people aren't seen as just a sale but as a burden. The cure for this conundrum is returning to the truth–each of us is required to BE an asset in order to support the asset that is our fellow man. Without this every giver becomes an enabler, simply assisting the 'downtrodden' to remain trodden down!
Loved this post! Truly believe if people simply put their pride aside, they would actually be able to see the light – get out of their own way and be happier people…:)
Great, insightful post, Beau. None of us operates in a vacuum. We are all interdependent and so much the richer for it. Thanks for a great reminder that it isn't WHAT is important, it's WHO.
Great article on pride… I agree that too many people see prospects as dollar signs and that is NOT right. People are people FIRST. Work on creating relationships then if they have a need, they will come to you. Thank YOU so much for posting! x0x
Norma Doiron
Scarlett, How to Win Friends and Influence People was one of the first personal development book I read. Timeless wisdom about investing in relationships.
Wil, you are so right on that…
Great information Beau. One of the biggest lessons that's always stuck for me from the 7 Habits book was to look for a "win-win" solution in all instances. Lasting success requires that we treat people with this kind of respect. With the level of competition out there today, your client will go elsewhere if you aren't service-minded.