Get me Out of Here!
Last year in the US alone, 1 out of every 5 flights was delayed or cancelled, leaving masses of people restless, stranded and trapped. Sometimes, life can leave you feeling the same way.
When thoughts like, “if something can go wrong then it probably will”
become your way of thinking about all of Life,
your ability to prosper becomes damaged.
When you view Life as a Trap, you expect and experience things not going your way. It becomes easy to fall under the habitual spell of thinking that only bad things can and ever will happen. Sooner or later, this way of thinking becomes your reality.
Everything and everyone is seen as having a hidden agenda
designed specifically to disrupt your life plans.
Whether it’s your relationship with money, a job, a house, or a connecting flight that doesn’t work out, viewing Life as if it were one gigantic Trap will keep you stuck in more ways than one. Operate from this mode long enough, and eventually it becomes difficult to enjoy anything good.
Even if something does work out, you won’t see it that way.
Do you know anyone like this? The second mode of being and the next level up from fear is the driving force of Desire. When operating from Desire Mode, your state of mind, happiness, and peace all depend on getting what you want.
You think, if only I could get X, Y, or Z, then I would be happy.
Is this true for you? Are you waiting to get what you want before enjoying life? Before celebrating accomplishments? Are you missing out on the rest of what the world has to offer?
Sometimes, situations can’t be changed. At least not right away.
But you can always change yourself.
It’s important to point out here that Desire by itself is not the enemy. It is necessary for growth, achievement and success. Desires are given to us for a reason and they have a right to be honored.
But when those desires becomes responsible for whether or not you are happy, discontent will result. Every time.
To understand why this is true, we must understand the way our mind works.
Once a desire is met, once we obtain X, Y or Z,
a new desire quickly pops up in its place. Every time.
Much like the endless stream of passengers moving through airport terminals, our list of demands is always moving, always endless. There will always be something else that we want. So how do you allow those desires to pass through without giving them power over your happiness?
One way to shift up from Desire Mode is to change the question from
What do I want? to, What can I give?
By looking for ways to offer value to others, you become proactive. You focus on what you can do to help and how you can contribute. You go from feeling trapped to empowered.
Learn to control the controllables, then let go of the rest.
Take care of the things that you can do something about, then stay the course. We all find ourselves waiting in lines, tangled in messes, and crowded in airports. Sooner or later, problems resolve given time. What you get out of it along the way, however, is up to you.
Has Life School recently thrown you a delay or two? How did you handle the frustration?
I’d love to hear your story!
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Beau, I went to see a cardiologist a few years ago, during a really intense time in my work. I was really stressed out. He gave me what is probably the greatest advice I could receive: "When things start going 'against you' in any way, look carefully to see if you can do anything about it. If you can, then do it. If you can't … and it's out of your control … let it go." Amazing how that has left time and energy galore to make the good stuff happen! And to keep my focus where it belongs …
Surrendering the things outside our control is one of the true keys to success.
I totally agree. FOCUS is really key and I appreciate the reminder to not get discouraged by the little "delays" in life.
Beau, even though you relate this to money/desires I think the whole letting go thing applies to so many arenas. We are slowly digging out financially, and it helps me to remember that I just need to keep moving forward step by step and not get discouraged.
But the Let Go principle was never so important as when our son was deployed last year to Afghanistan. After many weeks of being owned by the fear, I had to make the choice to let go because I had not power or control. It made my life much less stressful for sure! He made it back safely BTW!
Thanks for your insight!